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164 Bruce Rd. 2

R.R. # 4

Walkerton


(519) 881-0709

LAUGHS

For more information call:  Ryan Martin, Golf Course Manager - 519-881-0709

Email: walkertongcc@wightman.ca

Click on the image above to watch a video on some wildelife hazards on the PGA Tour.

Learning How to Golf is EASY!!!

A Lighter Side Look at the Game

Once a player has mastered the grip and stance, all he has to bear in mind, in the brief two-second interval it takes to swing, is to keep his left elbow pointed in toward the left hip and his right arm loose and closer to the body than the left and take the club head past his right knee and then break the wrists at just the right instant while the left arm is still traveling straight back from the ball and the right arm stays glued to the body and the hips come around in a perfect circle and meanwhile everything is mucked up unless the weight is 60 percent on the left foot and 40 percent on the right - not an ounce more or less - and at just the right point in the turn the left knee bends in toward the right in a dragging motion until the left heel comes off the ground but not too far and be sure the hands are over the right foot but not on the toe more than the heel except that the left side of the right foot is tilted off the ground - but not too far - and be sure the hands at the top of the swing are high and the shaft points along a line parallel with the ground and if it is a downhill lie the shaft is supposed to be pointed downhill too and pause at the top of the swing and count one, jerk the left arm straight down like a bell ringer yanking a belfry rope and don't un-cock the wrists too soon and pull the left hip around in a circle but don't let the shoulders turn with the hips - they have to be facing the hole and now transfer the weight 60 percent to the right foot and 40 percent to the left -not an once more or less  and tilt the left foot and 40 percent to the right - not an ounce more of less - and tilt the left foot now so the right side of it is straight (that's the one you hit against) watch out for the left hand, it's supposed to be extended, but not too stiff or the shot won't go anywhere and don't let it get loose or you will hook, then let the wrists un-cock but don't force them or you'll smother the shot and don't break too soon but keep your head down and hit the ball!

THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT . . . unless you move your head . . . then you're

in real trouble!


Quotes on the Game

1. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead

 

2. I was three over today: One over a house, one  over a patio and one over a swimming pool. ~ George Brett

 

3. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron  was to kill a tarantula and I took a 7 to do that.

            ~ Jim Murray

 

4. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the  fastest cart never has to play a bad lie.  ~ Mickey Mantle

 

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if  you're not good at them.  ~ Kevin Costner


 

6. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.   ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

 

7. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand  wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.  ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

 

8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.  ~ Brian Weis

 

9. Swing hard in case you hit it.  ~ Dan Marino



10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.

                  ~ Lord Robertson

 

11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful  partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

~ Jack Benny

 

12. There is no similarity between golf and putting;  they are two different games, one is played in the air and the other on the  ground.     ~ Ben Hogan

 

13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you  win 20% of the time, you're the best.   ~ Jack Nicklaus

 

14. The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays  golf. It's almost a law.   ~ H. G. Wells

 

15. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.

                  ~ Billy Graham

 

16. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you  play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's  golf.

                 ~ Bob Hope 

 

17. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try  picking up the wrong golf ball.   ~ Jack Lemmon

 

18. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask  my ex-wives.  Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands  work.   ~ Lee Trevino

 

19. I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew  tomatoes, they'd eve come up sliced.   ~ Lee Trevino

 


20.  95% OF PUTTS THAT COME UP SHORT, DON'T GO IN !!!!   ~ HUBERT GREEN

 


International Association of Senior Golfers


Rule 1.a.5 (b) A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and

placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled

into the rough with no penalty. The senior should not be penalized for tall grass which green keepers failed to mow.


Rule 2.d.6 (o) A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the

tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game.

The senior player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there.


Rule 3.b.3(l) There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by charging himself or herself with a penalty.


Rule 4.c.7(l) If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.


Rule 5.f(o) Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.


Rule 6.a.9(c) There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds." If

golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur.  The senior golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.


Rule 7.g.15(k) There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf

balls should float.  Senior golfers should not be penalized for

manufacturers' shortcomings.


Rule 8.k.9(s) Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new golf equipment. Since this is financially impractical for many senior golfers, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.


Please advise all your senior friends of these important rule changes. Carry a copy with you at all times, to refer to when playing with non seniors.